Old Friends

After Nicholas’ death I devoured books that told the stories of survivors of life’s worst tragedy. I needed to connect with people who knew how I felt, and I needed help to survive my pain. Following is a list of the books that have become old friends of mine.  

The Bereaved Parent – Harriet Sarnoff Schiff

The author a bereaved parent herself writes, Bereaved parents … no one can understand the tragedy: the exhaustion, the quarrels with mates, the sleeplessness, the panic, the inertia, the horror of laughter – all the aftermath of sorrow and despair.

“The Bereaved Parent is a beautiful book. It does not console in an unrealistic way – it tells the truth.” Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D.

 

A gift from a friend:

One Small Sparrow – Jeff Leeland 

A community bands together to help the family of a seven month old boy diagnosed with leukemia.

 

Roses in December – Marilyn Willett Heavilin

The author writes about losing three children over the course of years. … even in the winters of our lives God provides roses – special occasions, special people, and special memories …  

 

A gift from a friend:

A Grace Disguised – Gerald L. Sittser

In an instant the author loses his mother, his wife and his young daughter. The circumstances of our sorrow are not important, what we do with those circumstances is.

 

A gift from a friend:

How to Survive the Loss of a Child. Filling the Emptiness and Rebuilding Your Life – Catherine M Sanders Ph. D.

A psychologist specializing in bereavement and a bereaved parent herself the author writes… The death of a child ranked overwhelmingly as the most significant loss anyone can ever experience… I eventually learned that the pain cannot be circumvented. It must be born in its full vengeance, with awareness.

 

I want to grow hair, I want to grow up, I want to go to Boise. Children Surviving Cancer – Erma Bombeck

Children and cancer. Where is the humor in that? Readers will be rewarded with treasures in this book about children and their families conquering the most difficult times of all.

 

A gift from my cousin Stefanie:

Conversations with God, an uncommon dialogue, book 1 – Neale Donald Walsch

I have seen the crying in your heart, the searching in your soul. Listen. To the next song, the whisper of the river, the breeze. I will speak to you if you listen.

 

A gift from a social worker at Alberta Children’s Hospital:

The following contains a link to an in depth review. After Nick died, when I was in the throes of acute grief, this book brought the most relief. Click on the title to access the link. 

When the Bough Breaks, forever after the death of a son or daughter – Judith R. Bernstein, Ph.D.

How does a parent’s life feel years later after the death of their child? Using survivors from The Compassionate Friends network, the author also a bereaved parent writes the stories of parents living their lives 5, 10, and 30 years after the death of their child.