You Look Like Sh*t and the Old Car Won’t Fly

Thursday, September 16 My hair is ratty, dry and the ends are split. I smoke too much and I hate myself. I stink. I make my poor sick kid retch at the nauseating odor clinging to my clothes, hair and breath. I eat whatever people put in front of me, here and there, fast food, microwave food, and I feel like a sloth. At home I’m busy on the acreage; I’ve never been good at sitting still. Now, our nerves are reduced to a hard, sharp edge, our lives made up of hospital rooms and endless sitting, waiting for chemo, tests, and test results. We hold our breath and wait for the ultimate goal, the words to set us free: “Your son is cured. Take him home!” My baby sister, bless her, says I look like … [Read More...]

Frankl light

Viktor E. Frankl ~ To Give Light…

Viktor Emil Frankl, M.D., Ph.D. (26 March 1905 – 2 September 1997) was an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist as well as a Holocaust survivor. His bestselling book Man's Search for Meaning (originally published in 1946 as Nevertheless, Say "Yes" to Life: A Psychologist Experiences the Concentration Camp) chronicles his experiences as a concentration camp inmate, which led him to discover the importance of finding meaning in all forms of existence, even the most brutal ones, and thus, a reason to continue living. “We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in … [Read More...]

Nick and GT Snow Racer

Charles Dickens and the Death of a Child

"When death strikes down the innocent and young, for every fragile form from which he lets the panting spirit free, a hundred virtues rise, in shapes of mercy, charity, and love, to walk the world and bless it. Of every tear that sorrowing mortals shed on such green graves, some good is born, some gentler nature comes." - Charles Dickens 1st published in December 2011 12 year old Nicholas was cremated. We dropped his ashes into Kootenay Lake, off the shore opposite the mouth of Powder Creek, where he loved to go fishing. We waited a year after his death before we did something with his remains, but I was certain I didn't want to keep any of the ashes, they were not my son but … [Read More...]

Lt Blake from Mash

Fishing Lures and Submarines

C/o Ronald McDonald House Calgary, Alberta Tuesday, September 14, 1999 Dear Friend, My sister Jenifer and her husband and their truck helped us move from the Ronald McDonald House in Vancouver to the Ronald McDonald House in Calgary. When winter sets in we’re really going to appreciate the underground parking. The House is in a commercial/residential area about a 30 minute walk from the hospital. On the 2nd floor, where we are, there are 12 bedrooms grouped around a sitting area with a TV and a gas fireplace. The House has three laundry areas and one is open 24 hours. I’ll be washing clothes on the nights when I can’t sleep. Frankie likes the room with the Nintendo. Nick hasn't spent … [Read More...]