Courage Anne Morrow Lindbergh

The Long Climb Up

It's all gone. Nothing looks the same nor will it ever be the same. You did your best, tried your hardest, gave your heart but it didn't matter, all has been lost. The fall was excruciating but the climb back up is torture and terrifying and you doubt you can do it. You're exhausted and more afraid than you've ever been and the temptation to stay down, cover your eyes and coast is intense. Doing nothing is easiest. But Here is craziness. This landscape is ugly. You don't like who you must be, who you will become if you stay, if you give up and lie on the dark and grungy bottom. You know people who have quit trying. They are shells. Hard on the outside and bitter on the inside. They take … [Read More...]

Brothers Frankie and Nick with Miss Daisy

Courageous Brother

FH is spending the night at the hospital with Nicholas. After our supper in the kitchen of the Ronald McDonald House, Frankie and I have just come through the door into our little suite and the phone rings. “Please Mom! Don’t let them! Don’t let them take me!” Nicholas is sobbing. “Here Nickie.” FH’s gentle tone is in the background. “Here, let me talk to your mother.” His voice cracks. “Susan, you have to come now.” Frankie and I grab up our coats. My heart is hammering inside my chest. “Mom, what’s going on? Is Nickie..” He gulps. “Is Nick OK?” My oldest son, all this long year, has done his best to just fit into the back ground. His Dad and I both try to keep him informed and give a … [Read More...]

Karma saw that

Getting Slapped Across the Back of the Head by the Karma Gods

The karma gods will get you. Do we imagine spiritual forces watching over us and keeping tally of wrongs that are done? Then, like modern day Equalizers, they spin a grim occurrence to turn the tables on the wrongdoers and level the playing field. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. In a way it’s like having Robin Hood waiting in the bushes to avenge when someone does an evil act to another. Then when it seems the law of averages has stepped in and the wrong doer is at the receiving end of an ill turn we say karma sucks and we’re smiling. Last month something happened to me that had me fuming. I was the victim of a blatant act of disrespect from an equal, a parallel, in an … [Read More...]

Calgary sask

Meeting a Small Woman with Big Courage

I have no idea how many families are in the Ron McD House. Either the House isn’t very full or people keep to their rooms. Supplied with a TV and phone there is no need to come out and mingle unless you want to cook. The lights in this kitchen don’t do much to brighten the room. It’s clean and functional but as I stand at the stove I miss the Vancouver kitchen with its windows looking out into the gardens, the tree branches loaded with soft green leaves and casting a leprechaun hue into the room. I’m cooking supper for Frankie and myself. FH is at the hospital with Nick. The refrigerator door opens. I turn around and watch a woman pull out a container and set it in on the counter. "Hello," … [Read More...]

Susan Feb 2014 by Truss

Spring Can Be In Every Day

"Nothing is permanent. Everything has an ending. All of this will go away. It is this impermanence that causes much of my suffering. I grasp and clutch at people and things because I know that none of it will last. I want the things that make me feel good to remain the same. I want me, my very self to never diminish, to never weaken, to remain constant." Moment by moment, step by step, I look back, my youth is long gone, my strong and busy 40s are behind that last bend and ahead of me is only a wish, unknown, my steps shortening and at times I am afraid. It would be easier to love no one, to live my life with a closed heart, let no one in and I can't get hurt. And … [Read More...]