hungry guy

At the Dairy Queen and Because of Jimmy

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We were in the Dairy Queen having lunch. They have a cheap menu where for five dollars you can buy an entrée such as a chili dog, or chicken strips, or ¼ pound grill burger with a drink and a choice of sundae or French fries. I was having a chili dog and Ian was eating a burger. The place wasn’t too busy, still before noon. We didn’t sit near the door because it was a bitter cold day and the door leaked an icy draft. A couple of guys were on the other side of the partition beside us, a woman and child opposite them, and behind them was one young man by himself. “You should see this guy eat.” I said to Ian who had his back to him. The young man hadn’t taken his heavy coat off, just pushed … [Read More...]

1998 Nicholas wearing braces

Shingles & Braces

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Nick’s blood counts have bottomed. Nothing is showing in his blood work. The hated double edged sword, the chemo that ended a few days ago did its job annihilating cells, performing a deep clean, but Nicholas pays dearly for the service. Death of the lovely and innocent bystanders of his platelets and red blood cells means he needs regular infusions of them. They hang on the IV pole above him as he heaves his empty tortured stomach into a puke tray. Hi Ho, Hi Ho. Into the chemo slide we go. Thursday, Aug. 5 Febrile (fever). Admitted back into British Columbia Children’s Hospital. Antibiotics. WBC (White Blood Count) 0.12. I find it strange his blood counts are already on the … [Read More...]

Ursula & baby Susan newspaper clipping

Choices Part 2: This Might Explain Some Things

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When I was a child it’s possible I was just a tiny bit ADHD because I only stopped moving when I was sleeping. There was so much to do: climb trees until the trunks thinned and swayed with my weight, and walk barefoot on the rocks in tumbling creeks among spawning salmon. Proudly wearing a white straw cowboy hat rimmed with a pink sash and a plastic gold star and sitting on a red saddle I rode a mighty black Welsh pony. In the thick of summer when at night the air hasn’t cooled I played hide and go seek with my cousins at my grandmother’s while my Dad, aunts and uncles visited and laughed in the yard. I’m the second child of four children, three girls and one boy. My brother was born first, … [Read More...]

nighttime horse

Of Long Nights, a Horse and Flight From What Hurts

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Filtered moonlight lit only what was necessary, a ribbon of light against dark, the road ahead winding through a tunnel of trees. Then, the clouds completely obscured the moon and there was a sense of where the hard packed two track road was. She trusted her horse, had faith in his animal instinct, his eyes for the night. They ran hard. His hooves pounded against the dirt, the sound sometimes hollow as they thundered over huge rocks buried under the ground, their edges poking out here and there along the two worn tracks. Her horse galloped between, trampling the fringe of brown grass in the middle, his stride long and true. Her cheek pressed against his neck, her body arrow-like … [Read More...]

Police at R Mc D resized (1)

Vancouver Police At The Ronald McDonald House

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Barb is a staff member at the Ronald McDonald House, and she also works in victim assistance for the Vancouver City Police. One evening, two officers brought a cruiser around to the House on Angus Drive. The kids climbed all over the cruiser pushing every button and pulling every switch. The stately neighborhood along this big leafy tree lined street was disturbed by aspiring juvenile delinquents. The kids took turns being locked in the back seat, their laughing little faces pressed against the wire cage separating them from the front. Paul and Eric, with their skinny, knobby kneed, little boy legs, weaved around the car in the “chemo lurch.” Enthusiastically they climb through one door … [Read More...]

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Two buddies sitting in the wheelbarrow

The Lion King and Nick

Watch a short clip from The Lion King The young cub called Simba from the movie The Lion King evokes the memory of a little boy I used to have in my life. He was as lovable, or, as wild when provoked, as a lion cub. His adventures included taking one of our dogs, hiking into the woods, and climbing the hills behind our farm to explore. Often, I would look out the window into our back yard, and depending on what time of year it was, I would see Nicholas in the snow or on the grass wrestling, himself still a puppy, with the dogs. He left this life when he was of the age that he swung between the business of childish play, and an adolescent spending quiet time in curious ponderings. The Heroes in our Lives Nicholas and Simba are heroes in their own stories. They both were mere youngsters; innocent and pure, still believing in the power of hope when their lives became painful. They became warriors with the depth of courage that is valued, spoke of and passed on through the ages. In The Lion King, the young cub loses his father in a violent death and his world is upended. Simba’s survival is hinged on his drawing from the courage he saw in his father. My son developed an aggressive leukemia. The chemo therapy protocol waged a vicious battle against the disease, and physically Nicholas became a shadow of the boy he used to be. But his spirit, the light that burns deep inside every one of us, rose to the challenge. Like my son, Simba was felled to his knees and robbed of … [Read More...]

The first entry in the Journal – The Beginning of the End

BC Children’s Hospital March

Click on the photograph for the first entry in the Journal

Barney: Late for Lingerie and the Forgotten Place